Ways to foster awareness during intimate moments from a sex therapist

Fostering awareness of the physical sensations and emotional responses during intimate experiences means you are involved in being fully present in the moment. 

You are paying close attention to the sensations on your skin, the rhythm of your breathing, and the emotions, big and small, you’re feeling. 

Practicing this type of mindfulness can help you create a stronger connection between your mind, heart, and body while leading to a more fulfilling and enriching intimate experience with your lover. 

Techniques like deep breathing, relaxation exercises, and open communication with your partner can further enhance this connection. Above all, it’s about embracing the experience without judgment and immersing yourself in the present moment.

Here are some ways to foster awareness during intimate moments from a sex therapist:

  1. Set the Scene: Create a comfortable and relaxing environment that allows you to focus on the experience without distractions.  Don’t judge what this means to you.  For some, proper physical hygiene is an integral part of the scene.
  2. Breathe Mindfully: Begin with deep, intentional breaths. Mindful breathing helps you stay grounded and attentive to your body’s responses.  If you find your mind wandering, returning to the breath helps keep you in the present moment.
  3. Slow Down: Take your time and engage in the experience leisurely. Slowing down allows you to immerse yourself in the moment fully.  Don’t be attached to how long, even having an orgasm, or even having penetrative sex.
  4. Focus on the Senses: Focus on what you’re feeling, touching, hearing, and even tasting. This helps anchor you in the present.
  5. Body Scan: Mentally scan your body from head to toe. Slow down and nonjudgmentally notice any areas of tension, relaxation, or heightened sensitivity.  Approach the experience without judgment. Accept whatever physical sensations and emotions arise.
  6. Verbalize Feeling & Experience: Share your sensations and emotions with your partner.  Even the best of lovers can’t read minds.  Sharing deepens your connection and opens the door for mutual understanding.  After the experience, take a moment to reflect on what you felt physically and emotionally. This reinforces your awareness and understanding as well as that of your partner.
  7. Practice Often:  Regularly engage in mindfulness exercises, whether alone or with a partner, in bed or when washing the dishes. Consistency helps strengthen your awareness over time.  Notice how your body is feeling, the sensations you are experiencing no matter what you are doing.

Remember, the key here is to be present and attuned to your own responses during intimate moments, not what your partner may or may not be feeling, or wondering if what you are experiencing is normal. Over time, these simple steps can help you develop a stronger mind-body connection and enhance your overall experience to pleasure. 

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