Juicy–the one word that has always been at every woman’s workshop, retreat, and class I have ever facilitated. Mango would be second–a sweet, oval-shaped, juicy fruit. When Juicy shows up in a circle of women, the energy in the room begins to change. Something begins to stir deeply.
The term “juicy” is often used to describe a state of being in which a woman feels attractive, alluring, and sexually appealing. She is present with a sense of sensuality and desirability. Juicy is also not about the pleasure of another but selfishly all for herself. Feeling Juicy is about falling in love with herself and how she feels in her delicious skin.
In my work with women, I learned that it is essential for a woman to feel confident, comfortable, and empowered in her own skin, regardless of any external descriptors like “juicy.” Feeling juicy, in the context of feeling attractive and sexually appealing, can be a part of embracing one’s sensuality and femininity – body, heart, and soul. This also means remembering that a woman’s worth is not, nor has it ever been, based on her appearance or desirability.
Feeling “juicy” is a subjective term, and what it means to each individual woman does vary. How she invites more juiciness into her life can also be quite unique. And as much as most women desire to feel juiciness in their life, there may also be some resistance to it.
Media has informed most women that to be considered a sensually alive woman, she must look a certain way. Drive down any major street in any city, and you will see large billboards with women in “perfect” bodies with perfect measurements. What most Body Image Issues:** Negative body image or body insecurities can lead to feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious about embracing one’s sensuality. Many then experience feelings about their body, leading to feelings of shame related to their sexuality. This can result in a reluctance to engage in sexual activities or a constant sense of self-consciousness during intimate moments.
Experiencing past trauma or negative experiences related to intimacy can create emotional barriers and resistance to embracing one’s sexuality. Sexual trauma can have profound and varied impacts on a person’s sexuality and emotional experiences, including their ability to feel “juicy,” which can be understood as feeling sexually aroused, desirable, and vibrant in one’s sexuality.
Many survivors of sexual trauma may experience a loss of desire, a decrease in their ability to become sexually aroused, or simply want to avooid anything sexual. The traumatic experience might lead to emotional numbness or dissociation, challenging connecting with or engaging in pleasurable sensations. Sexual trauma can also create difficulties in forming intimate connections with others, even with safe partners. They may continue to struggle and have concerns about feeling vulnerable, making it hard to feel safe and secure during sexual experiences.
Social conditioning and societal norms, cultural beliefs, or conservative upbringing may discourage open expression of sensuality, leading to resistance. Over the years, I have worked with couples that aware raised in conservative, purity cultures where sex and pleasure are taught to be evil and ungodly. Many have shared feelings of confusion and frustration that they feel frozen in creating an erotic connection with each other after years of thinking of sex as something forbidden and not to be enjoyed. Once married, they have no idea where to start, what goes where, and erection, ejaculation, and painful sex.
Feelings of shame or guilt around sexuality, often influenced by cultural or religious beliefs, can hinder someone from feeling comfortable with their sensuality. I have met with individuals who are completely cut off from their sexuality in order to fit in with their family or church community. Feeling juicy can feel like a betrayal of everything they believe in.
Relationship Issues are a huge factor in feeling juicy. Problems within a relationship, such as lack of trust, abuse, money issues, infidelity, conflict dynamics, or communication styles, can affect one’s ability to feel sexually empowered. If you feel unsafe, unheard, or unseen, the body is aware of this and will turn itself off to keep you safe. It is also common that many women suffering from painful sex are in relationships in which pleasure is one-sided, with no room for her to express what feels good to her.
The Road to Juicy
Overcoming these resistances often requires self-reflection, self-awarenss, open communication, and seeking support from trusted friends, partners, or professionals. It’s also essential to respect and honor your unique journey allowing yourself the space to define your own comfort level with your sensuality and sexuality. Holding a non-judgmental and compassionate space for yourself can help you feel more empowered in your self-expression.
If you desires to feel more attractive, confident, and sexually appealing, here are some general tips that may help:
Self-care and self-love: Prioritize self-care activities that make you feel good and enhance your overall well-being. Practice self-love and acceptance, appreciating yourself for who you are. Everyone’s erotic self is unique as a snowflake so it’s ok that yor expression differs from what others/culture deem as normal. The more you engagne in self-love, the more you feel comfortable and deserving.
Dressing with confidence: Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident, reflecting your personal style and preferences. Wear clothing, jewelry, or perfumes that help you feel like a goddess, that remind you of how beautiful you are. Wear things that are meaningful to you not necessarily for the masculine gaze.
Embrace your sensuality: Explore and embrace your own sense of sensuality and femininity in a way that feels authentic to you. We are all born as sensual beings. As baby’s we were curious about our bodies and using all our senses to expore the world. Although often placed together, sensuality is also a practice independent of sexuality. Sensuality is abooout being present with yourself and what feels good or brings you alive. It’s the nerves on each of our senses — sight, audio, taste, smell, touch, that light up.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and getting enough rest can boost your energy and self-esteem. Taking care of body and our health as a direct influence of how juicy we feel. Sleep is crucial, yet highly underrated by a society that values productivity over self-care and sleep impacts our hormones and our moods.
Pursue your passions: Nothing turns us on as being turned on by pursuing what we want. Engaging in activities you are passionate about can increase your sense of fulfillment and happiness. This allows your brain to create more positive stories of your worth which increases our self-esteem.
Communication: Being able to openly communicate with your partner about your desires and needs in your relationship is vital. Helping our partners to understand our body language, our erotic blueprint, updating erogenous zones, and especially what we don’t like is part of the juicy journey. And, if for whatever reason it is too difficult to talk to your partner, seek support. Sex therapists are trained to support partners in talking about these challenging aspects of relationships.
Remember, feeling “juicy” is a personal journey of self-discovery, embracing your unique qualities, and being who you are so it is essential to prioritize your own well-being and comfort over conforming to external expectations or labels.
It is also important to remember that terms like “juicy” are subjective and may not resonate with everyone.
The key is for each individual to define and embrace their own sense of confidence and empowerment, using language and descriptors that feel authentic and comfortable to them.
The ultimate goal is for you to feel happy, confident, empowered, connected, present, and honored in all aspects of your lives. If you are interested in learning more or need support, check out this upcoming event.