The Importance of Feeling It All in Challenging Times

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul. ” – Swami Vivekananda

It has been a rough week for California. A mass shooting and the wind-whipped fires both here in Southern California and up North.  Many of my clients, friends, and family have connections to one or all three. It doesn’t stop there. Daily news of tragedies occurring across the world can feel overwhelming leaving us to feel that shutting down and not feeling anything is the best to do.

In moments that trigger so many feelings, it can be challenging to remember this too has arrived to rise us.

And, it’s not just tragedy I am talking about.  Anything that disturbs your peace, that causes heartbreak, sadness, anger and upset qualifies here.

Many of us received programming as kids not to feel what we are feeling. Caretakers and siblings, in their best effort to help or control a situation, would sometimes make comments that led us to not trust what we were feeling.  “Don’t cry,” “You don’t feel that,” “You have no reason to feel that way,” “I’ll give you a good reason to feel that way,” “You and your feelings are too much,” are among the many messages they received in childhood about feelings many of my clients have shared with me.

In our innocence, we begin not to trust the sensations we are feeling.

We feel the sensation of the emotion and we squelch, minimize and deny. Trauma is created.

We forget then that all that happens to us—the good, the bad and the ugly—arrive with the purpose to grow us, heal us and ultimately uplift us.  Our very soul’s calling in this moments for our spiritual curriculum here on earth.

This is not to say that it’s okay that we have tragedy.  Of course not!  I for one am not a fan of tragedy, abuse or trauma.  This is my effort to remind you that you can decide how to be with what has happened in a way that empowers you rather than letting what happened select for you.

How to begin to feel it all.

We do this by first, slowing down and feeling what we are feeling. No downplaying, minimizing squelching or denying.

Restricting our expression of feelings does not help anyone because what occurs then is a creation of trauma.  Trauma after all does not happen at the moment of tragedy, but how we handle the memory and emotions around it after the incident has occurred.

Slow down.

Feel your feelings.

Noticing the sensations of the body.

What emotions become present then?


Let it come up.

Perhaps this is uncomfortable.

Keep going.

There is sweet freedom on the other side.

Talk to others. Share your findings. Our human experience was not meant to be done alone.

Every moment arrives for our ultimate healing, growth and upliftment.


Know you have my support and encouragement.

Please reach out if you need.



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