“I now see that the only way to truly heal our partnership was to have it torn apart by the affair so we could build it back up on a foundation of honesty and vulnerability.” – Client
Healing from Betrayal
Infidelity and other forms of deceit often bring a huge amount of questioning to the surface. Questions like, “What did the affair mean?” or “Will there ever be complete trust again ?” are just two of the thousands of issues a breach of trust can reveal.
Whatever issues have arrived, it can be helpful to examine them in a safe, contained therapeutic setting.
Rather than getting lost in questions or high emotionality, you can begin to focus on rebuilding and healing.
Each partner heals in their own way.
Sometimes a relationship will suffer when partners have differing recovery styles.
Often seen is the hurt partner repeatedly wanting to go over details of the affair, while the other avoids responding.
Successful relationships after the discovery of an affair, have taken a realistic approach.
Each person is allowed to recover in their own way, on their own time frame.
Counseling allows space for both partners to have and share their own individual experience and begin to build new parameters for the relationship.
Trust becomes a central issue post-affair.
The hurt partner may believe he/she will never trust again while the other is unsure of how to make things better and earn trust back.
The discovery of an affair leads many to invalidate feelings and beliefs about the partnership.
Others also begin to doubt self trust and choosing to stay.
Guidance during the recovery process is key.
Many times couples decide to stay together after an affair or deceit and try to fix everything all at once and fail.
Whatever issues emerge after the deceit, it is normal for the things to feel clouded and questioning of everything once thought and believed about the relationship.
Working with a therapist will help you and your partner identify what each of you needs and desires after infidelity while supporting and guiding you towards a mutually supportive resolution.